{"id":2166,"date":"2022-04-10T09:27:35","date_gmt":"2022-04-10T13:27:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/?p=2166"},"modified":"2022-04-10T09:29:42","modified_gmt":"2022-04-10T13:29:42","slug":"the-key-to-50-years-of-happy-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/?p=2166","title":{"rendered":"The key to 50 years of happy marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Adam Winfield<\/p>\n

Oshawa residents Peter and Thelma Martin married in 1971, when they were both 23, and celebrated their 50th<\/sup> wedding anniversary in March last year. They saw the half-century milestone as an opportunity to look back on what\u2019s made their long marriage work and consider what others could learn from their success.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>The couple first met at a party while living in the same apartment building and Peter later proposed after they shared a whirlwind six-week romance. There was a gap between them first meeting and dating, however. \u201cRight after we met, I went to New York for a month with a girlfriend,\u201d Thelma said. \u201cWhen I came back Peter was waiting to meet me at the airport with a car. He was an airline ticket agent at the time, but I thought he was a pilot when I saw him in his full uniform!\u201d<\/p>\n

The pair began dating when Thelma returned, and about two weeks after they got engaged Peter\u2019s work saw him transferred to Vancouver for three months. He didn\u2019t come home until just before the wedding, and those long stretches apart would become a regular feature of the couple\u2019s early marriage.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had to spend a lot of time alone,\u201d Peter said, \u201cand maybe that\u2019s part of the reason we\u2019re good together. We learned not to live in each other\u2019s pockets. We have our own interests, so we can both be off doing something different and don\u2019t have to do the same thing together all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt gives you time to breathe and be your own person,\u201d Thelma added. \u201cWe respect each other\u2019s need for time alone and I think that\u2019s a common theme in many successful and happy marriages. One of our favourite sayings is that you don’t have to be joined at the hip.\u201d<\/p>\n

Thelma believes Peter\u2019s constant travel helped them both learn to be independent, while helping them appreciate the good times when they were together. \u201cWe worked hard to get what we wanted for the home and we had a real partnership. Supporting each other in those early years was really important.\u201d<\/p>\n

One common interest Peter and Thelma have always shared is volunteering, and the couple have become closely involved with the Oshawa Senior Community Centres (OSCC). Thelma sits on the association\u2019s special events committee and Peter leads the cycle group, among other activities.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\u201cGiving back to the community has been a big part of our life together,\u201d Thelma said. \u201cIt\u2019s helped us to stay social and mingle with other people, which is something we\u2019ve always enjoyed doing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Early in their marriage the couple had two boys, now 49 and 47, and decided that Thelma would stay home to raise them while Peter travelled for work. When the time came to buy their first house, Peter was in Australia on a six-week business trip. Sensing the home was a once in a lifetime opportunity, Thelma carried the ball to the end and Peter made it home just in time to sign the paperwork.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeter\u2019s travelling was hard on me and the kids,\u201d Thelma said. \u201cOne of the hardest parts, though, was when he came home, because I was boss and the kids knew the rules when I was alone with them. When dad was there things could fall apart a bit because he wasn\u2019t strict enough!\u201d<\/p>\n

The couple agreed it was important to raise their sons with the same values they had, like working together, volunteering and being self-sufficient. As the kids got older, each family member took the responsibility to cook a meal once a week and rotated duties such as doing the dishes and laundry. The boys carried those values into adult life, and went on to marry and give Thelma and Peter seven grandchildren.<\/p>\n

Like any couple that has spent 50 years together, Peter and Thelma have gone through some challenging times. Peter was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2005 and credits Thelma\u2019s support with helping him become cancer-free. Thelma, meanwhile, has suffered with fibromyalgia. \u201cWe try to look after ourselves the best we can and we have been pretty fortunate overall so far,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Two years ago, the couple bought a second home in Sarasota, Florida and became snowbirds. \u201cWe had a cottage near Peterborough for many years,\u201d Peter said, \u201cbut the winters were starting to get to us. We sold the cottage and made the decision to buy a place down south. Both of us consider being active and healthy very important, so it\u2019s perfect to be here spending a lot of time outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

Looking ahead to the future, Peter and Thelma want more than anything else to continue spending quality time with their family. They have strong bonds with their sons and daughters-in-law and cherish time with the grandchildren. They also long for one last big family vacation.<\/p>\n

The couple plans to continue volunteering with the OSCC and taking part in the social activities the community offers. \u201cThey are the best senior centre in the province,\u201d Thelma said. \u201cFor the membership price and the social and health and wellness programs on offer, it just cannot be beat.\u201d<\/p>\n

What makes the family and volunteering time most special for Thelma and Peter is being able to do it together. \u201cWe have our moments, of course, like every couple,\u201d Thelma said. \u201cBut we never go to bed mad at each other. That\u2019s a big thing for us. We can also laugh with each other and at each other, which is important because life can be pretty serious and you have to learn to look on the lighter side.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf we\u2019ve learned anything through COVID,\u201d she added, \u201cit\u2019s that we need to look more at what we have and less at what we don\u2019t have. In many ways we have been blessed and for that we are thankful.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Adam Winfield Oshawa residents Peter and Thelma Martin married in 1971, when they were both 23, and celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in March […] Read More<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2170,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe key to 50 years of happy marriage - Active Senior's Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/?p=2166\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The key to 50 years of happy marriage - Active Senior's Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Adam Winfield Oshawa residents Peter and Thelma Martin married in 1971, when they were both 23, and celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in March […] Read More\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/?p=2166\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Active Senior's Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-04-10T13:27:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-04-10T13:29:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/thelma2.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1000\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"801\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"active\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/\",\"name\":\"Active Senior's Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-CA\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/?p=2166#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-CA\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/thelma2.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/thelma2.jpg\",\"width\":1000,\"height\":801},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/?p=2166#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/?p=2166\",\"name\":\"The key to 50 years of happy marriage - 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