{"id":465,"date":"2015-08-07T14:52:16","date_gmt":"2015-08-07T18:52:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/?p=465"},"modified":"2015-08-07T14:52:16","modified_gmt":"2015-08-07T18:52:16","slug":"the-plight-of-a-caregiver","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/activeseniorsdigest.ca\/wp_activeseniorsdigest\/?p=465","title":{"rendered":"The plight of a caregiver"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Caregiver\"<\/a>
Joyce and Garth McMillan have been married for 62 years. Joyce has become Garth\u2019s primary caregiver as his health slowly started to decline over the years.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

By Sadia Badhon<\/strong><\/p>\n

For 25 years, Joyce McMillan and her husband Garth took trips to Florida during the winter months. Last year was the first time they could no longer go because of Garth\u2019s health conditions, and they may never go back there together again.<\/p>\n

Joyce and Garth have been married for 62 years.<\/p>\n

Garth\u2019s health condition started to decline about 10 years ago. Joyce and Garth\u2019s daughter, Sandi McMillan, says she saw the changes in her father even before her mother did.<\/p>\n

Sandi visited her parents in Florida every year in the summer when they stayed there.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was there for two weeks to three weeks every year and I could see this total decline,\u201d Sandi says.<\/p>\n

\"Caregiver\"<\/a>
Joyce and Garth McMillan on their wedding day 62 years ago.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When she first started visiting, her dad would accompany her mother to pick her up from the airport and go wherever they went, and most importantly, he would be active with them.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll of a sudden, he was no longer coming to the airport,\u201d Sandi says..<\/p>\n

\u201cNo no, it\u2019s okay, I don\u2019t really want to go with you. You go ahead and have a good time,\u201d he would say to them.<\/p>\n

Joyce and Garth exercised together regularly, but slowly that stopped too.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve walked together and then suddenly, if for one reason or another I couldn\u2019t walk, he didn\u2019t want to walk and then pretty soon he wasn\u2019t walking,\u201d Joyce says.<\/p>\n

Over a 10-year period, Joyce saw a steady deterioration of her husband\u2019s mental and physical health. While the last three years, she says, has been a total decline.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was just little bits disappearing and I think because I didn\u2019t live with him 24\/7 like my mom does, and my sister and my brother didn\u2019t see him in that dense of a time, they really didn\u2019t notice it,\u201d Sandi says.<\/p>\n

Sandi would go back home year after year and notice something was wrong.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know he\u2019s asking the same questions over and over and over again. He\u2019s not nearly as active. He\u2019s becoming extremely lethargic and doesn\u2019t really want to connect into a conversation much more than answer my questions,\u201d Sandi explains.<\/p>\n

Garth also used to be an avid reader but Joyce says he hasn\u2019t picked up a book in six months.<\/p>\n

\u201cI notice he might be holding a book but he didn\u2019t seem to be reading it and then eventually he was reading McLean\u2019s, which is shorter stories, now he doesn\u2019t pick anything up,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Garth, 86, was diagnosed with Alzheimer\u2019s disease about two-and-a-half years ago.<\/p>\n

Because forgetfulness is associated with old age, Alzheimer\u2019s sometimes goes untreated. Although medication can help improve symptoms, there is still no cure for this disease.<\/p>\n

\u201cTesting is always interesting. With Alzheimer\u2019s, you can have good days and bad days. He can sit here even today and talk to you and you\u2019d say, \u2018there\u2019s nothing wrong with him,\u2019\u201d Joyce says.<\/p>\n

As symptoms worsen, the caregiver faces a heavy burden. Joyce has been a full-time caregiver for her husband since the symptoms first showed and she hasn\u2019t gotten a break since.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat becomes an issue with the caregiver is that the caregiver is not far off age of the person who\u2019s getting the care, so who takes care of the caregiver?\u201d Sandi asks.<\/p>\n

Joyce is looking into long-term care homes now, as physically providing care for Garth at home is becoming more challenging for her to manage.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo me the biggest problem is they don\u2019t have enough long-term care. We have all sorts of retirement homes being built all over the place because they\u2019re made for profit and we don\u2019t have enough long-term care,\u201d Sandi says.<\/p>\n

Last December is when Joyce applied for respite and long-term care. Respite care is temporary living arrangements for seniors that provide relief for the caregiver. Sometimes, these arrangements need to be made a year ahead of time.<\/p>\n

In February, Joyce got approved for 30 days of respite care for Garth. This would be the first time she got a break since Garth\u2019s health started to decline 10 years ago.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s like having about a three-year-old, dealing with a three or four-year-old, except that the three or four-year-old is learning everyday, is expanding, but he is losing everyday and going down,\u201d Joyce says.<\/p>\n

As she saw herself getting more frustrated over the years, she says she\u2019s able to cope much better after taking the break.<\/p>\n

\u201cI see now that\u2019s not being fair to him. I mean, it\u2019s not his fault and my being away from him for the 30 days gave me time to sit back and assess and look at the whole situation, that he\u2019s sick. He can\u2019t help what he\u2019s doing,\u201d Joyce adds.<\/p>\n

But shortages of respite care beds in (Ontario) makes it difficult to take those breaks.<\/p>\n

Joyce continues to face the plight of a caregiver as she waits for her husband to be accepted into a long-term care home, which could take up to a year.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Sadia Badhon For 25 years, Joyce McMillan and her husband Garth took trips to Florida during the winter months. 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